Responding to the Pressure

As if cooking for Melissa and I weren't enough, we had Melissa's whole family for SSSS today.  We went out to a restaurant near our town last night to celebrate Brutus Buckeye's and MIL's birthday.  They all slept over, so I had a table of seven to feed this morning.

This crew severely limits your menu options.  FIL and K can't eat nuts, which axed one of the dishes I planned to make before knowing that the family was staying over.  And Brutus Buckeye won't eat bananas, melons and other soft, "mushy" food, so several side dish options were out.  For the side dish, I decided to go with the tried and true cinnamon bruschetta with marscapone and strawberries, which all seemed to like.

Melissa also decided that she wanted muffins, so I made my first attempt at baking.  She found a recipe from Barefoot Contessa that she wanted me to use.  Personally, I can't stand Barefoot Contessa - I think she's incredibly pretentious - but this recipe seemed simple enough.  I went for it and, with a little help from Melissa, think I nailed it.  Everyone else seemed to like them to, giving the muffins 5 stars.

For the main course, I originally planned to make a frittata, but decided that wouldn't work with so many mouths to feed.  Instead I found a sausage and leeks casserole recipe that sounded good and went for it.  I was able to prepare it the night before and just throw it in the oven this morning, which was nice because it gave me more time to entertain the guests.  I cut back on the heat just a little by reducing the cayenne a tad and using monteray jack instead of pepper jack, and cooked it covered for most of the time to prevent the top from burning.  Everyone, including myself, seemed to think it was pretty damn good!  The leeks added a nice subtle flavor and the spice was just right.  The consensus was 4.5 stars for the casserole.

All in all, this is a good and mostly uneventful meal despite the pressure of a full table.  Finally!

Thanks to Brutus Buckeye for the presentation assist.

Where's the Jamaican Bobsledders When We Need Them?

In 2008, Melissa and I had a great time watching the Olympics.  Whenever we had a free minute we'd flip on whatever event was being televised and were riveted. The 2010 Winter Olympics?  Not so much.

Maybe it's because they don't have the standout story.  Apolo Anton Ono and Lindsey Jacobellis don't exactly have the panache of Michael Phelps and Usain Bolt.

Or maybe its because they haven't started the premiere events yet. Ice hockey doesn't heat up until the weekend and women's figure skating won't start until next week.

But mainly I think its because the sports - for the most part - are stupid.  I can already see the daggers flying from my Scandinavian followers,  but I'm standing by my statement.

Let's think about some of these sports:

• Biathlon - cross-country skiing combined with rifle shooting.  Is this a sport or an episode of Survivorman?
• Nordic Combine - It would be much more interesting if the ski jumps took place after the cross country skiing rather than before so that these people were trying to land 140m jumps with jello legs.
• Curling - come on.  I mean, once the kitsch value wears off... come on!?!?!? 
• Cross Country Skiing - Geez Louise, enough with the cross country skiing already!

Perhaps it's different in other countries.  Does the bobsled team captain get the head cheerleader in the Norwegian version of Sweet Valley High?  Do Swedish kids rush home from school to meet their friends for some skeleton?  Is it a diss in the Ukraine if you get picked last in the short track speed skating relay pickup game?

In my humble opinion, I think they need to add in more "everyday" winter sports - snowball fights and best yellow snow penmanship.

Want Some Cheese with Those Pancakes?

I've had a few tough weeks recently when it comes to my SSSS, plus it is Valentine's Day so the pressure was really on this morning.  I decided I had to scale back a little bit, go back to basics.  Unfortunately, I've screwed up the basics pretty good too.

Since it is Valentine's Day I had to do something a) chocolaty, and b) showy.  To accomplish the former while still staying basic, I went with chocolate chip pancakes.  I used the Joy of Cooking pancake recipe Brutus Buckeye sent me.  But I did 2 parts whole wheat flour to 1 part white flour to make it a little more healthful and added in the chips.

And checking off the latter objective was all about the presentation.  Check out those strawberries - how incredibly cheesy, huh?  But isn't that what Valentine's Day is all about: extravagant, unnecessary displays of emotion?  It was supposed to be even more ridiculous - on this pancake I tried to place the chips in the batter by hand in the shape of a heart and was going to do the whipped cream in the shape of an arrow.  But the chip design didn't work out and I learned that placing them into the batter when it's already on the skillet will burn the chocolate.  Oh well, it still looked pretty darn good in my opinion and the rest of the cakes had the chips mixed in beforehand.  The pancakes get 4.5 stars, and the presentation gets a cameo on the Lifetime channel.

The pancakes were only intended to be the showy appetizer.  I wanted to add some protein, so I made up a simple sandwich.  I buttered and then grilled some sourdough bread, fried some eggs and dropped maple ham and swiss cheese on top.  Although simple, it was pretty delicious - 4 stars, mainly because the bread was fantastic.


I hope everyone out there in ITWOP Nation has a very happy Valentine's Day.

Pinko Commie Rag

No, I'm not talking about the New York Times.

Watching the Vancouver opening ceremonies last night, I thought it was a tremendous letdown after the Beijing opening ceremonies.  It wasn't until this morning that I realized we were all dupped by what was communist propaganda.

Vancouver featured a bunch of individual spotlight performances.  For example, during the fiddler bit each fiddler got his or her own solo.  The kid that flew through the plains was flying alone.  Even the flying skiers were few and far between.  It was all about the individual's expression.

By comparison, Beijing featured hundreds of people acting in unison.  And it was amazing!  It was a spectacle that truly raised the bar for all future performances.  But from what I remember, there were few if any standout individual performances.  Beijing was all about the masses contributing to the whole.

Coincidence?  I don't think so.  We're on to you Hu Jintao!

Avoiding the Collapse

So far the snow storm has dropped a foot of snow and counting on ITWOP Mansion.  It's still coming down at about an inch an hour and isn't supposed to stop until after midnight.  I can't really complain that much though, Brutus Buckeye and K have had it much worse down by the capital.  And my snowblower makes clearing the snow relatively easy.

Unfortunately the snowblower doesn't make it's way to our deck, which needs to be cleared by shovel and elbow grease.  It's a bit of a pain because each shovelful needs to be lifted over the three foot railing.  But I've done it once already and will undoubtedly do it at least once more.  I always make a point to clear the deck as quickly as possible.  Why am I more concerned about clearing the deck than the sidewalk and driveway?

I'm afraid it will collapse.

I know, it's ridiculous.  But let me explain why: ages ago, I remember hearing on the news about a deck collapsing at a party in San Francisco.  Seems like nothing, right?  I can't even tell you why it stuck with me.  Then while reading what would become my favorite book of all time - A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers - he talks about his friend Shalini almost dying in a deck collapse.  THE deck collapse that I remember from the news.  That's not a coincidence, that's a sign!


Granted, that deck collapsed because of rotten wood and I try to maintain the deck pretty well.  But a foot of snow means approximately 1750 pounds sitting on the deck.  That's nearly a ton!  That has to do damage to the structure, right?


So go ahead P/P - explain to me how the deck is built to hold way more than that.  And you too FIL - I'm sure you'll equate this to Melissa's food paranoia somehow.  But I don't care - I'm going to remain paranoid about my deck collapsing.  And when you're enjoying a juicy hamburger and cool lemonade while basking in the mid-day sun on my deck, you'll be happy I do.

Hot and Cold

Who knew the you can't pour hot melted butter into cold milk?  If the half-encouraging, half-wise ass text messages flying back and forth between Melissa and Brutus Buckeye are any indication, the answer is "everyone by Joe."

Yes, my Cinnamon Waffles with Caramelized Apples and Caramel Whipped Cream took a disastrous turn when I poured the butter I just melted in the microwave into the cold buttermilk.  Within two seconds of mixing I noticed what appeared to be ice crystals forming on the whisk.  When I ask Melissa what was going on, she knew right away that either the milk curdled or the butter separated.  And since that was the last of the buttermilk we had on hand, it was also the end of my homemade waffle batter recipe.

I turned to the Bisquick we had on hand from the pancake attempt a few weeks ago.  The apples and whipped cream turned out pretty darn good, and once the waffles cooked we certainly enjoyed the meal.  We can't score the waffle aspect of the recipe since we never got to try them, but the apple topping and the whipped cream each get four stars.

My sidedish was just plain disappointing.  I found an Apple and Maple Sausage recipe that I thought would go great with the waffles.  There may be been several points where I went wrong with this one:

• I used chicken instead of pork sausage (pork never leads you astray)
• I decided to add cherries
• I prepared the patties the night before
• I chopped the apples more finely than was probably intended

But no matter where it took the turn, the end result was awful.  I tried one out of the pan and decided not to even plate it.  I just threw out the entire batch.  Since I changed so much about the recipe, I can't really score it, but my version of the recipe gets zero stars.

I've made the decision that next week needs to be scaled back a little bit.  It has to be something that I have a proven ability to deliver, and I think I known just the thing.

Snow Through the Ages

Brutus Buckeye is already in the thick of the blizzard that has the potential to biggest snow total in the area's history.  You can follow his play-by-play on Twitter.  And it seems like it started here a few hours ago.  There hasn't been much accumulation yet, but the weathermen are predicting anywhere from 3 to 12".  This all got me thinking about how the anticipation of snow has changed for me over the year.

As a child, who doesn't dream of a snow day?  It meant an extra day off from school, snowmen, and hot chocolate.  I'll never forget how we'd have our feet wrapped with plastic grocery bags underneath our boots (how do the children of Whole Foods shoppers keep their feet dry?).

As a teenager, snow meant money.  My friends and I would roam the streets, shovels in hand and anxious to take advantage of people in need.  Digging out cars cost about $20 or $30 dollars, driveways and sidewalks cost way more.

Brutus's recent tweet sums up snow for an adults quite perfectly:

"Plenty of booze, snacks, TP, & DVDs. And I can work from home on Mon. if we're still iglooed. What else do you need?"

In other words, you spend days preparing and then days worrying about what its going to do to your work.

Man, seems a lot better to make snowmen.

Update: I just checked the weather report and they're now saying we'll get 1-3".